I’ve been neck-deep in Supernatural seasons for the last month or so since I’ve a lot of catching up to do. My weekends have been nothing but adventures with the Winchesters and Castiel. I’m currently at season 6. The story’s direction from season 4 onwards made me reflect on my own faith, or lack thereof. I think I identify with Sam the most – believing in something (or at least wanting to), but so many things have happened that gave me reasons not to. I’m still where I was at the last time I wrote about this, in that I believe in a supreme being or god. I want to believe, because not believing in anything can get pretty damn exhausting at times. It’s good to be able to lift your worries to something higher than yourself, even just for a while, believing that things will work themselves out. Sometimes I find myself praying out of habit, yet I know that in the end, it will still be out of my own efforts and help from others that I see whatever it is through.
The conflict of destiny versus free will was also something that really got me thinking. It’s so easy to say that something (or someone) was not meant for you when things didn’t work out, but is that really the case? Did you really try hard enough? Or were you simply chasing after something you thought you wanted but knew otherwise? Is there really anything so absolute in this world that we are not allowed to carve our own paths and make our own stories? I don’t know. I don’t usually think about these things, but damn Castiel and his rebelliousness put these thoughts in my head. Besides, I don’t think there’s ever only one answer, nor do I think there are wrong or right ones. I’m betting this is the PMS talking (or writing), but regardless – the fact still stands that watching the show started all these thoughts.
On a lighter note, Misha Collins is brilliant as Castiel. Really. Jensen Ackles has excellent comedic timing. Jared Padalecki is the perfect Sam to Jensen’s Dean. Richard’s Gabriel is quite possibly one of my favorite characters in any form of art. Bobby Singer is one bad ass motherfucker and the dad the Winchesters need (Jim Beaver, you precious thing). And CROWLEY, OMG. Mark A. Sheppard has been in two of my other favorite fandoms, Doctor Who and Firefly. He is my hero. (In the craft, of course, not as a demon.)
I’m gonna go sleep this off now. Damn feels.